Speak Like a Leader, Not a People Pleaser

The Confidence Problem Nobody Talks About

Leadership isn’t just what you do... it’s how you speak. You can have the best ideas in the room, but if they’re wrapped in weak language, they’ll never land the way you want. Too often, managers hide behind polite phrasing that sounds humble but actually chips away at their authority.

Take “I’m just checking in.” It’s the leadership version of a nervous tap on the shoulder. You’re trying to be nice, but it signals that your request isn’t that important. Instead, remove the “just.” Try, “Checking in to see if you need anything to move this forward.” Clear, helpful, and confident. That’s real leadership energy.

Or think about “Does that make sense?” It sounds caring, but it can sound like you doubt your own clarity. You don’t need to prove you were coherent. You need to confirm understanding. Say, “What’s unclear before we move ahead?” or “Is there anything you’d adjust based on what I shared?” That’s leadership inviting collaboration... not approval.

And “I think we should” might be the most common phrase in every meeting. It’s fine when brainstorming, but when making a call, “I think” makes it sound like you’re unsure. Try “Here’s the direction I want us to take,” or “Based on what we know, this is the best next step.” You’re owning your role without ego.

Here’s the truth: the words you use shape how people experience your leadership. Every phrase is either building confidence or chipping away at it. You don’t need to sound like a drill sergeant... but you do need to sound certain. Ditch the fluff, keep the empathy, and speak like someone who believes in what they’re saying. When you do, people will start believing too.