The Hidden Language That Undermines Your Leadership

The Words That Make You Sound Smaller

You know that moment when something comes out of your mouth at work and you instantly wish you could take it back? It’s not that you said something wrong, it’s that your words didn’t carry the weight you wanted. They landed somewhere between being too polite and too apologetic. That happens because many leaders use language that unintentionally minimizes their authority.

Let’s start with one of the biggest offenders: “I’m just checking in.” That single word - “just” - quietly drains confidence from your voice. It turns a direct message into a soft apology. When you say, “I’m just checking in,” you sound like you’re asking for permission to lead, not actually leading. Instead, try something clear and intentional: “Following up on the project. How’s progress?” Short, grounded, and confident.

Another one that sneaks in is “Does that make sense?” It seems thoughtful, but it tells your listener you’re not sure you made your point. Great leaders don’t seek validation; they invite clarity. Swap it for something like, “What’s unclear before we move forward?” You’re still opening the door for questions but in a way that reinforces your position, not weakens it.

And then there’s the classic: “I think we should.” It feels safer than saying, “Let’s do this,” but it quietly signals uncertainty. You can be collaborative without being hesitant. Try, “Here’s what I recommend,” or “Let’s move forward with this plan.” Confidence in your words shapes confidence in your team.

When you strip away softeners like “just,” “think,” or “maybe,” you make space for real leadership to come through. The goal isn’t to sound bossy—it’s to sound sure of your role and the direction you’re giving. Words are tiny signals that tell people whether they should follow your lead. Make sure yours point forward.